Money Matters:
How Being Raised in Scarcity and Lack Influences your Relationship with Money.
Our relationship with money is directly tied to the relationship we saw our parents or caregivers have with money. Think about it, as children we are influenced, conditioned and taught by the lifestyle we were inadvertently raised and nurtured in. Our home life- was the representation of how far money could get us and afford us. We were unconsciously aware of this as children but, we experienced it in how well off we were growing up.
What has your childhood taught you about money? What did your home life teach you about money? Did you grow up in a family that made money decisions based on lack and scarcity? Did you ever have to worry about going with out something you needed because there was simply no way to afford it financially? Did you ever witness a caregiver borrowing , needing and in desperate need of money -with no clear path on how they would create avenues for earning it?
Think about it this way, lack leads to distortions with our perceptions with money as we grow up. Our decision making as adults is often based on what we saw and learned in our lifetime. Whats that famous quote “children cant be what they cant see”. So if you were raised without an understanding about how to create or grow wealth then money is a dream.
This is about changing that narrative and changing that perspective and getting really real about the ability to change the way you see, feel and experience your relationship with money.
Backstory…
Listen- when I speak about this I am coming from a place where I saw what middle class life afforded us and how pay-check-to-pay -check life ultimately meant the difference between food or housing some months. I didn't grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. I grew up with parents who did the best they could with what they had, both were hard working and college educated yet when life happens-it happened to us. I can look back with the knowledge I have now and honestly say — there was no financial planning in our home not even with a little bit of money. It seemed like we were always short or always functioning at a financial disadvantage. Most folks, don’t realize the importance of being able to plan with a little, even a deficit and how that helps you plan when you have an abundance of money.
Bankers Life…
I entered the world of Banking and Finance at the age of 17 years old. I didn’t know a thing about personal finance nor did I know a thing about how banks even operated or how they made money into more money and most of all I didn't even know what a checking account was or how it was used. I started working because I needed to earn money to help take care of myself & family.
At the time, I was in high school, going to school from and living in a hotel because our family had lost our place. The job originally was more of a survival decision more than a learning platform for myself as a individual. We needed money to survive.
As I began to get promoted from position to position learning the insides and outs of financial institutions on all different levels, I finally began to learn how to bridge the gap between my personal financial situation, well being and how banks support the needs of their clients with a array of products and services.
I also learned from co workers who were older than me, they were able to teach me what they knew about money. The job it’s self was a front row seat in how to manage money and what happens to money & how to use money & credit as a tool. I learned valuable tools to help me change the way I viewed money. I learned valuable lessons on how to reverse the thoughts that were embedded in me in my early childhood.
Changing your thoughts around money…
The first thing — is you must unlearn what you have been conditioned to know about money. If you learned unhealthy habits with money or learned to see money from a place of lack and scarcity then — you are blinded from seeing the possibilities that are out there for you. Just like any healing process — you have to retrain your thoughts around money and adapt a whole new thought process. Use outside sources to help you if need be. But something easy to do is recite a financial affirmation daily.
There are a number of financial acumen courses available. Scour YouTube, the internet or speak with a financial planner or personal banker about how you’d like to make changes in your spending and thoughts around money.
Also get real about your money, how much is coming in , how much is going out and to where and how much you’re saving. Sometimes writing it down and seeing it visually can be a sobering experience.
Make a plan with what you have now and set a goal on how you’ll get to more. Money is not made by any means so you have think of ways to create streams, avenues or ways to earn more money. This requires you to goal set, plan and step into action to achieve and reach your goals.
Finally reading books by financial experts such as Suze Orman in the area of personal finance is a great way to invest in yourself and your future habits with money.
Money Matters
- Find a Money Mentor or speak to a Personal Banker
- Plan the money you get now - yes! Plan even with a little
- Set reasonable financial goals for yourself
- Save something — ANYTHING! It will eventually add up
- Speak positive financial affirmations to yourself
