The Balancing Act : Single Moms & Distance Learning
Parents are officially settling into the COVID-19 announcements stating ALL K-12 schools will remain closed for the remainder of the 2020 school year.
Depending on where you were with your beliefs around covid-19, most parents knew this news was coming. Sure, we had a glimmer of hope but in the back of our minds we were kinda of hopeful for this decision. We were only hopeful of this decision based on the side of health & caution. Distance learning is the the most realistic decision. Corona-virus has taken the world by surprise and there is so much we just don’t know & there no real treatments or vaccines for the virus. No parent is willing to gamble with their children’s lives, welfare and safety when we have no real answers yet.
Let’s be real honest here …
None of that makes being a single mom and distance learning any easier right?
Let’s not pretend single parenting on its own isn’t difficult enough — now we are officially adding “Teacher” to our official job descriptions and titles. The truth is adding “distance learning “ to the already overwhelming single mom job description is making the load a little bit more heavier for her to carry. If we are keeping with the honesty theme here- it’s a LOT heavier for her to carry.
A lot heavier for me to carry.
As a single parent of four children, I’ve found myself overwhelmed some days with all the new home life adjustments we needed to make. Our dinning room has now become multi purposed and has officially become the “classroom” in addition to the place where we eat our meals. My couch has become a permanent drop station for clean clothes. Steps away in the kitchen is the place where I spend the time making and preparing meals, snacks and drinks. It’s like everywhere I look, there is a job, a responsibility and something that needs to be done. During the week, I spend my days helping with homework assignments and ensuring my children have a well rounded day with at least some outside playing time of some kind. Now — add in managing to work on my business, take my business Zoom calls, writing and trying to stay on top of household duties. In all of that, day in and day out — Where is the time for self?
As a single mom, it’s easy for you to put self last. It’s easy to forget about yourself when you are trying to do so much for others. Being selfless and there for everyone else is a key skill for being a mom, but as a single mom with no relief; what are some of the long term affects if you continue like this? When you are alone with your kids and they are depending on you for everything? It’s easy to feel added pressure. It is easy to feel stressed. It is easy to feel overwhelmed. It is easy to feel alone and isolated. It is easy to neglect somethings or yourself. We are feeling a lot being the head of the household carrying all the the responsibilities on your shoulders with no help. As life adds responsibilities to your plate, it’s important not lose yourself. It’s important to uplift yourself and find ways to stay motivated and empowered as we navigate through single parenting and distance learning.
Time to make your game plan!
I was listening to a speech by Mellody Hobson-Lucas made years ago and in the speech she said“We have admired the problem long enough.” Whenever I am in a difficult space I refer to that quote because it reminds me that we can’t just stare at the problem forever and talk about it with no action. We have to start devising plans to address the issue at hand to rectify the problem.
As a single mom, we know the struggles of balancing things on our own and the pressure of adding distance learning to your role. Now we have to roll with the news and figure out how to balance the two.
Here’s a few suggestions from my playbook to stay at peace within yourself and also manage distance learning for the remainder of the school year.
- Give yourself a few breaks during the day. As a single parent it’s important for you to rest, reset yourself and give yourself several moments to recoup your mental, emotional and physical energy. It’s perfectly okay to give yourself these moments.
- Make the weekly schedule interactive. Create a daily schedule with your children. This allows the children to have a say in creating their day and helps them learn personal and accountability for themselves as well.
- If it gets to be too much , take a day or two off from school. If your child’s teacher records the sessions, take advantage of that flexibility and maybe let your child watch the replay if class later in the day. Its really okay to be flexible and understanding with all that you’re carrying. You’re one person, you can only do so much.
- Reach out to your child’s teacher or school program director. Express any concerns or needs you might have in order to make this transition easier. You never know what suggestions they may have or what assistance's the school might be able to offer.
- Play fun kids music and take silly breaks! Or toss on a Podcast and ask your child to lay on a yoga mat and imagine the story as they talk through the scenes.
- Find time for some kind of Self Care. If it means walking outside for a moment and just letting the breeze blow on your face while your children are having lunch, do it. Whatever it looks like for you.
- ASK FOR HELP. Do not be afraid to talk to someone you trust if you are having a hard time. There are lot’s of great therapists, life coaches and/or mentors you can speak with.
I have been doing daily body scans suggested by my therapist which keeps me present and grounded. I have been doing guided meditations with my children. It’s funny but they enjoy getting a mat, and copying me. I also burn candles and incense to create a certain mood and relaxation in the air. I have been reading a ton of books. The most helpful tip I can give is to spend time with other single mothers who are struggling too, their stories give me peace, validation and together you can find away to uplift and inspire each other.
If you are looking for a community of powerful single moms and momprenuers online, please “like” and “follow” our The Powherhouse Mom Facebook & Instagram page. If you’d like to leave me a comment and tell me what you are doing to balance single mommin’ while juggling distance learning — I’d love to hear from you.
